I was not sure what to believe when they take their last breath in my arms. I wanted to believe that they have to be pain free somewhere, and I kind of liked the over the rainbow thing. Sometimes, I feel their presence, sometimes. Sometimes, they come to my dreams. I remember 7 years ago when our little one, Foxy, had a traumatic death, how upset I was. A few nights later, he visited me in my dreams, in a vivid one, running in the front yard where the grass was so green, and rolling on this back, and I knew he was ok.
Sometimes, it’s like a feeling that one or the other is there. I don’t need an animal communicator. I just know they are around.
It became even more obvious in 2010. Zeus died on August 27, 2009. Until almost his death, we were going every Thursday at 10:00 am to get Reiki in Great Falls with a great lady, Ingrid. I swear the darn dog knew when it was Thursday, and he was waiting by the front door each time!
The night after Zeus died we got an incredible thunderstorm, weird thing since he was so afraid of them. We went on, no matter what even though, despite of my other dogs, the house was different, silent, and yes as I said in Zeus’s tory, my shadow today is still lost without his.
A few months after Zeus’ passing, Pouch, our Golden retriever, our Gentledog, was diagnosed with Lymphocytic Leukemia, and later on, I thought that maybe Reiki will give him more energy. Amazingly, we had an appointment with Ingrid on Zeus’ day at the same time. I went there with Jessica, my youngest daughter.
First time I was going back there and it was a bitter sweet visit. We left the place, Jessica was on her IPod, and while she was picking up song, I heard a bark. I asked Jessica how she made her IPod barked, and she looked at me like I was crazy. At the same time, we heard another bark, and Pouch heard it too, and stood up. Jessica screamed at me to stop that I must have run over a dog. The barks were coming from the car, but at the same time, they sounded far away. Of course, when I checked the car, there was no dog stuck anywhere. I went back to my car, and while driving away from the Reiki place, there were more barks while I was crying like a baby, and the barking stopped maybe a mile, a mile and half away from there. Yes, it was Zeus, it was his bark. We shared so many Thursdays together over there. It was our special time together, and I hope – but it has to be that – he just wanted to cheer me up.
I did not dream it. I had four and two legged ones as witnesses! The thing is I was not expecting any sign from him. I was just sad. Was he barking for me or for Pouch? Selfishly, I want to believe that it was for me, and that it was to tell me he was still around. It has to be that, what else could it be?
And the poem below is one of my favorite ones:
I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying, you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear,
“It’s me, I haven’t left you, I’m well, I’m fine, I’m here.”
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the milk
You were thinking of the many times your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to re-assure you, that I’m not lying there.
I walked with you towards the house as you fumbled for your key.
I gently put my paw on you, I smiled and said, “It’s me.”
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.
“”It’s possible for me to be so near you every day
To say to you with certainty, “I never went away.””
You sat there very quietly, then smiled; I think you knew…
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over… I smile and watch you yawning
And say “good-night, God bless, I’ll see you in the morning.”
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I’ll rush across to greet you and we’ll stand, side by side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out… then come home to be with me.